You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
