i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
