Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
