I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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