Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
