My brain says no but my pants say off.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
