i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
