They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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