I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
