Pants 0. Shit 1.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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