dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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