No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
