Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
