lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
