Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
