I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
