It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
