Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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