Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
