I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
