I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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