Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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