Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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