I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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