I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
