so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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