i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
we're so committed to being not committed
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
