Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
