god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
