Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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