It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
