Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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