I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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