I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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