He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
