Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
