She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
