Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This show inspires me to have sex in space
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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