yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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