you have to choose: penises or morals?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
