Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
