Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
