based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
