Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
