You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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