You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
