none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
