mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
