There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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