So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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