he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
