the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
