She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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